THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WHITE PICKET FENCE.

I remember growing up in Soweto just directly in the residues of apartheid. There was always a general confusion and misplacement in society. It really seemed like everyone was trying to find their place in the world. In 1995, I was moved to a multiracial school in Horizon View just outside our township. It certainly was one of the weirdest things ever. I was one of the only 20 black students in the school. We literally stood out like a spot of black in a pool of white paint. Because this was literally 5 minutes after the democracy, things were still very fragile and hazy. Being black in these surroundings was still very weird. The white majority still had the upper hand and although a new system was in place, we were still just the awkward misfits and we were constantly reminded.

 Twenty years later, I’m still shocked at how white is STILL better than black. Difference is, it’s not so racial anymore. It’s more of a black-on-black system. Having a conversation with my friend about the unjustness of the old apartheid system brought about both interesting and conflicting insight. I, for one, said that even though it was a system that was unjust to our people, the brains behind the architecture of that system were great. I mean, have we really fully recovered from the trauma and deprivation of it? I think not. In fact, I think for ages to come, we’ll still be battling for full emancipation. Look, I’m no politician and I know just as much as the average folk living in modern day South Africa. What I do know is that I exist in a society that still battles with its own identity and still battles to see itself for who and what it is.

 Having always been the dark skinned fat nerd in my childhood, I always knew that mine would be a battle for years to come. My light-skinned peers have always been treated with a little more consideration than me. Lighter was always better.  I feel like this is why we now have the ‘yellow bone’ era.  It’s such a thing that skin treatment ointment manufacturers are making a killing and bleaching your skin is almost as normal as applying Vaseline on it. Do you not think it was the whole system and point of oppression? To make us forever believe that white or light is always better? The mind is a very tricky thing. Breaking it down is the easiest thing while building it is the accelerated opposite.

It’s always intrigued me that the European market has sold Alek Wek as the ultimate beacon of black beauty.  I know that if Alek was not the supermodel icon that she is and was just another average member of society, she’d forever be mocked and crucified. The weird part of this reality is that it would come from her people. Her beauty was ‘accepted’ and celebrated because Europe said so. How many dreadlocked supermodels do you know of? 

Look, I’m not, in any way, hating on the yellow bone phenomenon. All I’m asking is, do we really have full control and understanding of who and what we are and what we stand for? Do we know what beauty really is and would our understanding of it be the same if we didn’t have options of facial creams and skin bleaching techniques?  Are Alek Wek and Grace Jones only ‘beautiful’ because the fashion industry says so and it’s a foreign industry to the average man and we’re known to celebrate what is ‘weird’ and ‘obscure’?

Even though I’m not the blackest coal in the bag, mine is a struggle I accepted a long time ago. I knew that before people care to know that I’m smart and talented, my skinny light friend will always be more handsome and greater. The misconception of beauty has diluted the authenticity of our race and magazines and pop culture have become the gods of our pride and identity.